Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Not really proud...

(Redhead's Note: Please forgive anything that's more lame than normal, or anything that sounds weird; I'm on a constant regimen of cough syrup...)

I started getting a chest tickle on the 8th, which quickly escalated to a hacking cough, and now 6 days later has my left nostril clogged.

I'm sick.

Lame sauce, I know. When I'm sick I'm kind of a pathetic being: I get whiny, I'm tired all the time, I'm fairly selfish ("Your car died?? But... But... I'm sick....")*- it's not a pretty sight. What else tends to happen is I will eat a lot. I'm not one of those people that gets sick and doesn't eat for 3 days. Oh if only!

Nope, I'm that girl that gets sick and will find every last semblance of comfort food, and vacuum it up into my sick mouth hole. Handful of chocolate chips? Don't mind if I do. A small-ish spoon of Nutella? Yes please? 4 lbs of bread? Why don't mind if I do!

Thankfully the only real example from all of those was the Nutella. Who can really resist Nutella? It's a magical creation!

It's heart shaped because it loves you. But it loves me more,
it just didn't want you to find out this way. 
This weekend, I'm sad to say, was no different than my usual sickie binge. There was a lot of Mexican food. And ice cream. Maybe a little more Mexican food.

No Mexican ice cream though. I have boundaries when I'm ill.

Not really, who are we kidding here? I just didn't think of it until now.

Anyway. As I've mentioned before this blog is for accountability's sake. So I'll tell you that I saw this awful, awful picture on Pinterest...
Clearly we have different things we eat in private...
This never, ever dawned on me. Yeah, OK, overall I eat pretty well. But when I cheat, I don't just cheat with a spoon of peanut butter. I cheat hard. But because they're "small" incidents, I don't think of them as often. However when there are multiple incidents per day, multiple days in a row, well... I wonder why I can't lose weight??

I'm not proud of this. But I feel like I need to be honest with myself and with anyone that skims this blog if I'm going to get anywhere in my weight loss journey. A small bowl of ice cream twice a day is not going to hide under my too-tight skirt.

I'm trying to actively remember that what I eat when no one's looking, still demands attention on my thighs and stomach.

I will admit, I'm quite pleased that despite my awful Mexican food and ice cream gluttony this weekend, the volume was a lot less. I went out to 2 different Mexican places, and both times I only ate 1/2 my plate (or less!). Yeah I had a bit of ice cream this weekend, but I scooped out a bit and put it into a dish. I'm not proud of the grease factor I ate, but I am really happy with the smaller volume that made it's way to my stomach.

Anyone else have food issues like I do??

*This never happened. I was just making a point. I'm not that bad!! ;-)