Saturday, July 20, 2013

Hormonies and the Flurry of Shame

Menfolk, feel free to skip this post. It's about to be way TMI up in here. 

Also, if you work with me feel free to skip this. 

With the pending nuptials coming up in just under 2 months (!!!), I've started taking birth control. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say this is my first go-round with them. While the Bearded Wonder and I love children, we want to enjoy being married for a few years first. Do some traveling, get a dog, you know, the uze'.

So. The birth control regimen started on Monday night, and by Tuesday night I was a raging hot mess. Everyone says, "side effects may include mood changes, in/de-crease of appetite, etc.".


What they fail to mention is the seething rage that makes you want to rip the faces off of those you love. Not because they've done anything other than happen to be in your general vicinity. What they also don't mention is that you'll burst into tears at the drop of a hat, or at the site of your extremely cute desktop background which you forgot you changed yesterday.

Not that that happened to me the other day...
What they also fail to mention is how debilitating it feels to have absolutely no control over your emotional state. I wrote an e-mail to my sweet Bearded Wonder trying to again apologize and explain this is all the devilish Hormonies, and I finished it in tears. At my desk. At work. 

The last few days have been a literal roller coaster of emotions, raging from boredom/depression to seething rage to weepy tears. As a female I'm prone to the "occasional" mood swing, but this is just ridiculous. This is a pandemic of epic proportions. 

Tuesday night after church, I was so mad at everything/everyone, that I drove through the McDonald's drive-thru and ordered an Oreo McFlurry (henceforth known at the Flurry of Shame), and ate it angrily at red lights on my way home. Then I cried when it was done because it was a poor decision and I didn't want an upset stomach later. Then I cried yet again because I looked like a typical fat kid lamenting the loss of her ice cream. 

It was a bad night. 

I feel like I should be locked away, kept from the public's view and out of harm's way of others. I want to sit in my room, watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother or Big Bang Theory, and gorge myself on a gallon of ice cream smothered in Magic Shell. I want to cry while clutching to a stuffed animal that Beardy gave me, lamenting the rage I feel at physical contact. I want to hug people and not feel like it's an obligation, or like I need to get away from them quickly. 

My friend informed me that since I'm not used to hormones coursing through my body, there's a good chance this may take a few weeks to level out.

I. Can't. Wait. 
I will admit I started this post on Wednesday night, and am happy (eek!) to report that things are looking up. Yesterday was the most normal I've felt all week... It was like a ray of sunshine into a sad and crappy pile of... sadness. Today I'm feeling marginally moody again but with a deluge of fatigue. But at least the stabby rage is subsiding. 

Anywho. The Hormonies are hopefully leveling out, and the Flurry of Shame is behind me. Thank God. Punch me if I eat too much crap though; I'm an amazing emotional eater. ;-)

What do you guys do when upset? I eat. Obviously. =p

A Redhead

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Pass the cheese, please


I swear I'm not a morning person. I've told you this before. However keyboards are magical little beings that enable me to "speak" in such a way that tricks you into thinking I am, in fact, a chipper morning person.

I am not.

This is me in the mornings, sans slippers. Hot, right?

I was standing in my closet this morning, lamenting that I can't wear my gorgeous Modcloth dress all day everyday, and I decided to base my clothing decision on the fact that I was not going to the gym today.

That's right. Spanx rolled on, wedge shoes on, flower in my hurr. Oh yes. No gym for this girl today.

But then it happened.

The thoughts started rolling in.

"2 months! Woohoo! OHMYGRAVY* 2 MONTHS!"
"I should go to the gym. Ain't no thang. Get in get out bada bing bada boom."
"Ewww Spanx after a workout…"
"I could start running! Ha. Running. That's funny. Did I just consider running? Did that just happen?"
"A slight jog, or 'yog' as I'd like to call it, may be fun."
"There's no way I am yogging at lunch and then squeezing this back into Spanx."
"But yogging could be fun! It could be a good workout! I could burn off my nasty egg whites breakfast hence erase it from my memory AND my belly!"
"Let's try yogging."

So I'm going to yog. Or jog, for those of you that skipped the transition in the middle of my thought train up there. I'm not exactly a runner, so it may look something like this.

The girl on the left, not the savant in the blue. 
To be fair it'll be on a treadmill, in air conditioning on this steamy day, and I'll probably be tortured by the Food Network. If it were outside I would wind up collapsed on the asphalt after 10 seconds wheezing heavily and crying for a vat of ice.

On a non-yog related note, I've started tracking my calories on MyFitnessPal.

It is the most depressing thing ever.

A guy on Fito recommended it to help me zap some flab in addition to my lifting, and it just makes me sad to see what I assume isn't "so bad" is higher in calories/fat than I thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going into some crazy diet spiral where I only eat a lean chicken breast and 2 pieces of broccoli for every meal. That's just not happening. I'd go cray-cray.

But with the way we've conditioned ourselves as a society, it's tough to look at something and think "nah, I don't need that much" or "hm, that looks super creamy hence super fatty".

I'd rather think "uh, pass the cheese, please?". Can I get a witness?

I borrowed this from here because it was funny. =)
Feel free to friend me on there if you want. I have to be honest in saying that I don't know how long it's going to last, but bottom line it's a good idea to track your food. Plus, sometimes you just forget when you ate something, and then you wonder why you've got so much sugar coursing through your veins. It's easy to forget the occasional mini piece o' chocolate. 

How's everyone else doing? How are the workouts and food consumption going?

A Redhead

*Note: Mmmm gravy….