Not Your Average Fat Kid

This is a post I've been mulling over for a couple of days and thinking of how to approach. It's been prompted because people keep picking up on little nuggets in the blog and asking me questions, so I thought I might as well address everything here in an honest and factual manner. It's about to get real up in here, so grab a snuggie and some ice cream water and let's see what happens. This may be a trigger post, so feel free to skip the  red  text below  to the happier,  more positive green text. =)  I suppose the best place to start is with my eating disorder. Well, "under control" eating disorder is more appropriate. Anyone who's ever had an eating disorder of any variety knows that it never really  goes away. You learn to overcome it 98% of the time, but with the occasional yearn for your former vice or the even more rare slip back into bad habits. I became bulimic when I was about 16, and we had a fast and heavy kind of relationship...

Hi friends. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions the last few days. Nothing particularly bad has happened, but there was a wedding, then we received some bummy news about some of our wedding particulars, then I didn't go to the gym yesterday, but then I got some fun wedding stuff done… It's just been a weird few days. OK not really, but who doesn't love a Ron Burgandy quote in the morning? I've been going to the gym faithfully for 2 months now, and am definitely seeing some results with the inches peeling off. Still haven't really lost a pound, and I think it's finally starting to bum me out. Now, I 100% understand that you will build lean muscle faster than burn fat. I also understand that this is a massive reason that a lot of women quit lifting, since they "aren't seeing results". I also understand though that I'm dealing with years of terrible self-esteem/bulimia scars,  compounded with a "gimme gimme ...