Tuesday, July 2, 2013

One of THOSE days...

Hi friends. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions the last few days. Nothing particularly bad has happened, but there was a wedding, then we received some bummy news about some of our wedding particulars, then I didn't go to the gym yesterday, but then I got some fun wedding stuff done… It's just been a weird few days.

OK not really, but who doesn't love a Ron Burgandy quote in the morning?
I've been going to the gym faithfully for 2 months now, and am definitely seeing some results with the inches peeling off. Still haven't really lost a pound, and I think it's finally starting to bum me out.

Now, I 100% understand that you will build lean muscle faster than burn fat. I also understand that this is a massive reason that a lot of women quit lifting, since they "aren't seeing results".

I also understand though that I'm dealing with years of terrible self-esteem/bulimia scars, 
compounded with a "gimme gimme now" culture.

My weight didn't magically escalate in 1 night. As sad as it is, and as much as some drug company may say otherwise, it's not all going to fall off in 1 night either.

Boo.

This is such a tough thing to accept, especially in a healthy manner. My internal struggles for years have been: "But, there IS a way to lose weight quicker", or "but I COULD drop 5 pounds if I just…". Sadly the finishing piece to those 2 statements usually isn't a healthy option. Yeah, OK, I could indeed drop 5 pounds from completely cutting out carbs. I could completely cut out sugar, carbs, eating a meal… Whatever. But is that really the best way to do this? Is that really something sustainable and healthy for my lifestyle?

If I'm completely honest with myself, I'm just tired. I'm exhausted from the month of June, from our pending wedding, from trying to buy a house, from trying to be on this journey of self-betterment. I'm just tired.

Buuuut if I'm even more honest with myself and with all of you, I know at the bottom of my heart that I've made some super positive changes. I've cut out soda, reduced time at my beloved Starbucks, cut back on sugar, have cut back on portions, and have been going to the gym 3-5 times per week. I think I'm doing pretty darn good. But this stupid culture of instant gratification isn't helping me when I'm not seeing my flabby stomach disappear in an instant. Really, I should be grateful that I'm losing the inches evenly. I think I'd be more upset if I lost 10.5 inches from my thighs and my waist was still the same size.

Plus I'd probably look pregnant. We don't need no rumors floating around here.


So. Today is kind of a rough day when I feel like a not-super-cool fat kid, and I hate the dress I'm wearing*, but I know I'll go to the gym and be thankful I worked out. I'll go to lunch and be happy about my smaller portions and healthier choices. Tomorrow I'll wear something I love and makes me happy, even if it's just a necklace.

I will not, however, drown my superficial sorrows in ice cream or more coffee. I'm an emotional eater, so naturally this is my first instinct. Gimme chocolate! (Helloooo instant gratification)

Tonight I'll go to church and see my friends, hang out with my Bearded Wonder, and be thankful for a great life with occasional** bumps in the road like today. Then tomorrow I'll read this blog post again and say "Oh honey. It's OK.".

Anyone else having "one of those days"? What do you do to get yourself out of ruts?

<3
A Redhead

*Note: Seriously, I think this every time I wear it. I need to just get rid of it… It may or may not even be stained in 2 places…

**Note: I can never spell occasional right the first time. Ever. Except for just now because I looked at the spellchecked one up there...

7 comments:

  1. Have you had a thyroid test done? If it's out of kilter, it'd be the reason you're not losing pounds. Also, have you tried a calorie-counting app?

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    1. Anita I have, and [fortunately/unfortunately] everything's normal. I almost wish I could just tweak the thyroid to speed up my metabolism.

      I have tried a calorie counting app, but those things just make me so miserable… Counting anything in general makes me miserable as I tend to get obsessive over it really.

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  2. I feel ya lady. I am just so tired. I think you doing it the healthful way is admirable, and yes it could be so easy to drink that water with cayenne pepper and lemon. I hope you stay encouraged and you feel the love from all your friends tonight :)

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  3. Sorry friend. Days like this are lame. Just hug everyone you see. Hugs make everything better. And they're best when they're awkward hugs. Just hug it out. Get outside for a few minutes. A bit of sunshine and prayer usually help perk me up.

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    1. Mmmm awkward hugs. =P

      I think it's too hot to go outside. I'll melt. Melting would be a bad way to make the day better. =) But thanks! And for all the funny e-mails. ;)

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    2. I could use an awkward hug. :)

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