|OK not really, but who doesn't love a Ron Burgandy quote in the morning?|
Now, I 100% understand that you will build lean muscle faster than burn fat. I also understand that this is a massive reason that a lot of women quit lifting, since they "aren't seeing results".
I also understand though that I'm dealing with years of terrible self-esteem/bulimia scars,
compounded with a "gimme gimme now" culture.
My weight didn't magically escalate in 1 night. As sad as it is, and as much as some drug company may say otherwise, it's not all going to fall off in 1 night either.
This is such a tough thing to accept, especially in a healthy manner. My internal struggles for years have been: "But, there IS a way to lose weight quicker", or "but I COULD drop 5 pounds if I just…". Sadly the finishing piece to those 2 statements usually isn't a healthy option. Yeah, OK, I could indeed drop 5 pounds from completely cutting out carbs. I could completely cut out sugar, carbs, eating a meal… Whatever. But is that really the best way to do this? Is that really something sustainable and healthy for my lifestyle?
If I'm completely honest with myself, I'm just tired. I'm exhausted from the month of June, from our pending wedding, from trying to buy a house, from trying to be on this journey of self-betterment. I'm just tired.
Buuuut if I'm even more honest with myself and with all of you, I know at the bottom of my heart that I've made some super positive changes. I've cut out soda, reduced time at my beloved Starbucks, cut back on sugar, have cut back on portions, and have been going to the gym 3-5 times per week. I think I'm doing pretty darn good. But this stupid culture of instant gratification isn't helping me when I'm not seeing my flabby stomach disappear in an instant. Really, I should be grateful that I'm losing the inches evenly. I think I'd be more upset if I lost 10.5 inches from my thighs and my waist was still the same size.
Plus I'd probably look pregnant. We don't need no rumors floating around here.
So. Today is kind of a rough day when I feel like a not-super-cool fat kid, and I hate the dress I'm wearing*, but I know I'll go to the gym and be thankful I worked out. I'll go to lunch and be happy about my smaller portions and healthier choices. Tomorrow I'll wear something I love and makes me happy, even if it's just a necklace.
I will not, however, drown my superficial sorrows in ice cream or more coffee. I'm an emotional eater, so naturally this is my first instinct. Gimme chocolate! (Helloooo instant gratification)
Tonight I'll go to church and see my friends, hang out with my Bearded Wonder, and be thankful for a great life with occasional** bumps in the road like today. Then tomorrow I'll read this blog post again and say "Oh honey. It's OK.".
Anyone else having "one of those days"? What do you do to get yourself out of ruts?
*Note: Seriously, I think this every time I wear it. I need to just get rid of it… It may or may not even be stained in 2 places…
**Note: I can never spell occasional right the first time. Ever. Except for just now because I looked at the spellchecked one up there...