Not Your Average Fat Kid

I don't know if I told you all or not, but I had a brief side gig as a sales associate for a plus-size retailer. I figured the 40% discount would help me economically update my wardrobe, while also bringing in a few extra bucks a month. Granted, I ended up spending more  money once I started my brief tenure because "It's on sale and I'll never  get this dress for this cheap! " Yeah, kinda shot myself in the foot with that one.  Anyway. If you've ever worked in retail for any length of time, you're probably aware that managers can be a little… What's a delicate way to put this… Hmmm… Crazy? "Would you like to open a store credit card?? You'll save $20 today but earn 28% interest every month!! LOL" The assistant manager was great- she had a normal outlook on life and recognized that a retail job is just a job and we all need to calm down. It's not like the world was going to end if the shirts weren't perfectly folded

When I was a kid I used to take road trips to and from Wisconsin or Kentucky, depending on the family we were visiting. For me these trips were a green light to eat any and all the things. Puffy pink marshmallow "snowballs". Doritos. Favorite soda of the month. Canned vienna sausages…. Don't judge me. I was young and thought canned meat was normal. Awww yeahhhh…. Pull that tab and let the fun begin. Food has always been such an integral part of travel for me, healthy or not (though I think we can all safely ascertain it was not ). I have vivid memories of picnicking at rest areas with my grandparents and cousins, and there was probably a can of the vienna sausages, Coke*, and inevitably moon pies or some kind of chips. #preservativesforall So you can imagine then when the Bearded Wonder and I decided to drive out to Missouri from outside DC for my cousin's wedding, one of the first thoughts was "Ooohh! We have to figure out what food to bring!&qu

OK let's talk about athletic gear for a second. I don't know about you guys, but there are all kinds of things I don't want showing when I'm working out: namely my entire body.  But seriously, I need to find clothes that are flattering *enough* so that I don't feel self-conscious. I know, I know- stop caring about how you look at the gym, blah blah blah. Buuuut if I'm already not feeling so hot about being there, a good set of clothes generally seems to help.  Obviously by "good set of clothes", sometimes I just mean the baggiest t-shirt I can find and some "yoga" pants that have yet to see the inside of a yoga studio.  I have this fabulous friend Pamela who founded an "independent film and theater company where all forms improvisation combine to create exciting… performance art experiences"- 4&9 Productions . Fancy, n'est-ce pas? As if she wasn't cool enough, she's opened a Teespring shop to sel

Sooo for those of you who don't know, I went to the gym yesterday! Woohoo! And just to prove it wasn't all talk, here are some pictures to describe how I feel today: Yep. That's about where I am right now. It took a "little" longer than normal to sit on the commode this morning after I woke up, and I was cursing the day that we bought a townhome with 3 flights of stairs . I've started tracking my workouts on Fito again, and I have to say it's really satisfying to get points. I mean, it's not like the points mean anything, but it still brings some silly joy when a robot calculates your workout and then you're awarded points which eventually lead to you leveling up. Also as a point of accountability: behold my workout from yesterday! :) Ow. That lovely little workout earned me 246 points and some super sore muscles. I'm going to go back today because I know working out more will help, but ugghhh. Not really looking forward

Today is the day. THE day. Today is the day I start going back to the gym. Uggghhhhhhhhh. I'm equal parts excited and paralyzed with fear. I'm not sure why- I used to go to the gym 4-6 times a week and go swing dancing and go on long walks with my dog. I used to be a very active person despite my badonkadonk. Maybe the key phrase is "used to be".  I meant to start yesterday, but I basically set myself up for failure and didn't have my gym bag or lunch packed the night before, and there's pretty much no hope of doing it in the morning. I don't know about you guys, but morning are just so  hard. So. Darn. Hard. I tried to find light and happy songs to use as alarms, but after awhile I start to dread them and want to throw my phone across the room. Basically my last few months has looked like this: Mornings? Nope.  Both please! Throw some carbs in there and I'm good to go! Angelika just gets me. Winter's always just ha

Let me start by saying that I feel like overall, I have a pretty diverse taste in music. I used to crank the classical to do my homework, I've seen ACDC in concert (still one of the greatest nights of my life), I can throw down in a 90's music sing-off, buuuut what you may not know…. I really. Really. Really  like rap music. I mean to the point where I've made it a goal to memorize Eminem's lyrics from songs that are suitable for radio play. So when my husband texted me from our living room to say "Missy Elliot's on!" during half-time*, I threw a sweatshirt on and hustled down to see The Queen doing her thing. Too bad by the time I got downstairs I missed it and Katy Perry was back to, well, being Katy Perry. Is that a… shark …?? I ended up watching the full half-time show, and I swear when I heard the opening beat of "Get ya freak on", my little heart soared and I smiled like someone handed me a big ole' cookie (I like cookies. S

I think over the many, many, many many many years I've been working on some type of weight loss or body improvement, I've come to the realization that I can't say "I'm starting tomorrow!" or "I'm starting Monday!" I just can't do it. If I decide I'm starting something, I basically have to start the second I decide, or I'll talk myself out of it later. Or I'll forget (yep, that's totally happened). Case and point, the 90-day challenge I joined with some ladies back in October happened on a completely random day, and even though I found myself going "Wait uhhh what but cookies!", I still started making changes to my diet right then. So for February, I found this link on a friend's Facebook page for " FABulous February ". I'm going to try it, because you start out doing 5 sit-ups (oh Lord…), 20 mountain climbers, and 10 jumping backs. That's doable, right? Imma let you finish, but shut it

Let's get real for a second. Sometimes you need a cookie. But not some crappy dry cookie. You need that perfect cookie that's a delicate mix of salty and sweet. We have found that cookie. We. Found. THE. Cookie. It's here . That's the holy grail of cookie recipes. The best part? It's a recipe for cookies for 2. As in we don't have 5 dozen cookies laying around (CURSES!), and we could indulge in moderation. Granted, I wanted to smack my husband's plate out of his hands and eat his cookies off the floor, but whatever… Oh you like them cookies?? Yeah, OK, I was giving him the side eye. Or at least his cookies. And that's not some shady euphemism, this is a family blog! A family blog that's really passionate about cookies, anyway... So, I'm really proud of us that we even sought out a recipe for cookies for only 2. You know, instead of the typical 2-5 dozen. Hello self-control! I've made a new policy that we can't keep sw

So there are 2 big things on my mind these days: money. puppies. Haaa you thought I was going to say something about babies, didn't you? Not for awhile, my friends.  So anyway. The Bearded Wonder has recently gotten himself a shiny new job, but prior to that we were saying "muchos gracias" to uncle Sam for unemployment benefits. Suffice to say, money has been a constant thought on our minds for 6-ish months. I started reading this blog, Budgets Are Sexy , and I have to tell you, it's cracking me up. It's real, practical advice, and the guy calls himself J Money. He basically teaches you how to make it rain by saving money and doing side hustles (see? I'm picking up his slang already. Holler. or something.) I've decided to pick up my own side hustle, and am in the process of getting a part-time gig with Lane Bryant . I love that store. They have fleece lined leggings for my booty, and super cute dresses that make me sashay like RuPaul. I won

I've changed the look of the blog again. I know, I know, I went through a phase last year where I changed it regularly, but I think I really like this one and I think it's going to stick for a minute! =) New year, new blog look. Sounds good, right? Sorry there's been nothing but radio static as of late, but I've been mulling over revamping the blog… I know it started out as a tool in accountability with eating and exercising, but honestly, it's so up and down. I mean if you're a fat kid trying to lose weight or tone up or whatever, it's generally pretty up and down. But as I've mentioned before, if there's nothing happening on the blog, then there's probably not much happening with the food/exercise. I've been thinking of expanding the blog to be about any and every thing happening in our lives, but would anyone really read it? Then again I didn't expect people to read this blog, so who knows! =) I had started that 90-day thing w