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"Congratulations…?? For what…?"

As my sweet Bearded Wonder is celebrating the week before my birthday, "counting down" if you will, we went to National Harbor since it's kind of "our spot". We had our first date there, he considered proposing there, we've had swing dance events there… It's been a pretty special place in our lives together.

So imagine my surprise when some random stranger almost managed to completely ruin our date night tonight.

We walked into this cute gourmet kitchen store that had food samples, kitschy dishes, fancy jams, etc. One sales associate was at the front of the store and greeted us, and we went about sampling the various spreads, oohing and ahhing over the different flavors.

We meandered up front, and the bright-haired girl looks at us with doe eyes and says "Congratulaaations!"

She had "aww there's a baby" face. I knew what the "congratulations" meant, but we both responded with "…For what??"

Her doe eyes oblivio…

Of protein shakes and cupcakes

I've had a realization the last couple of weeks or so.

I hate TurboFire.
Not like in a "Bleehhh I don't want to work out" kind of way.

But more in a "GYAH THIS IS SO OBNOXIOUS I CAN'T TAKE HER SERIOUSLY WHEN SHE'S NOT SWEATING!!!" kind of way.


We started one of the DVDs tonight, and I swear we did the same stupid sequence for a solid 4 minutes. 4 minutes.

So we switched to the Tone 30 DVD, and while I still don't understand how the instructor had a perfectly teased blowout and didn't seem to sweat, I hated it substantially less. We used resistance bands  and sweated like fools. I grunted. I yelled. She said "No frowning, you should be smiling!" and I yelled "I WILL NEVER SMILE!" My arms are trembling. My glutes are on fire. FIRE.

Suffice to say, we made it through the workout. I think this is just a ridiculous thing where I'm going to need to be overdramatic and fake-cranky to get through it.


On the plus-side, we had s…

3 weeks is too darn long

Hi everyone.

My name is Redhead, and I haven't blogged in 3 weeks.

<Hi Redhead>

So it's been 3 weeks! Bearded Wonder and I have [mostly] been doing TurboFire, buuut stuff has been kind of incredibly insane the last few days, so we haven't been able to work out.

That being said, this girl has lost 6 pounds.




We've done some really exciting, yet really maintainable changes with our diet. The plan was to cut out sugar, fried food, super processed foods (basically all the good things in life), which we've been doing for the most part. We [generally] aren't eating bread with sugar (we just make our own*), sticking with whole wheat pasta, avoiding sweet sauces (bbq, ketchup, etc.), and the obvious: not eating cookies/candies/cake/etc.

SO. Overall it's gone really well. But I've also had some really great moments working on my moderation. Yeah, it'd be great if I could cut this stuff out forever and just drop all the weight because of it, but that'…

Am I twerking…?

Those are the thoughts that run through my mind during a zumba class.

Then again, I'm also thinking: "Oh Lord, I'm so sorry I just bent over in front of you" and "Oh yowza- my feeties!", or "Oooo forget it, I'm taking my shirt off!" (Yes, that happened tonight).

I've joined a 90-day commitment to fitness on Facebook with some girl friends. We've all committed to 4+ times of workout/week for at least 30 minutes, being accountable with each other, and probably some kind of diet plan. Hubbins has said he'll do it with me, but he's not in the group since several of us (ugghhh) have posted "Before" pictures. We're (hubby and I) also going to take our measurements and weigh ourselves to see how this goes over the next 90 days.

90 days… Geez. That's no joke. It's not like the ~20 day things I've done before. This is through the holidays. This is through all the pies, mini candies, and CHRISTMAS COOKIES.

CHRIS…

Running is the bane of my existence

It's been a minute since I posted!

Funny enough, I think about you guys and this blog just about everyday....

"You realize if you don't go running, you'll have to confess on your blog, right?"
"Hey, I know ice cream is a sweet, sweet gift from Heaven... But you'll have to confess your sugary sins on the blog."
"Girl, put down the spoon for alfredo- you'll have to blog about it later."

Really the moral of the story is when I don't want to confess something, I just don't blog. Ha! Ok it's not just that, there's legitimately just been a lot going on around here lately. We got back from Delaware (where I did not have a 2nd scoop of alfredo. #NailedIt), have been taking care of house things, been selling wedding stuff (tablecloths, table runners, etc.), selling shoes I never wear and can't wear because my feet are the suck.... It's been busy, mmk!

Not to mention there was an unholy rage that we still went to the gym las…

And I ran... I ran so far away...

<"I just raaannnnn, I ran all night and daaayyyyy"> (quick spin in a circle and intense camera stare) <"Couldn't get away"> [Cue synthesizer *pew pew pew pew*]
You're welcome for the serenade. Don't recognize the song?? Well, you're in luck! Here's a YouTube video. Pay close attention to the hair- it helps you run. At least I think it does... Why else would they have that cut and sing about running away...?


Again, you're welcome.

Hubbins and I went yögging again yesterday at the gym, and I have to confess I'm quite proud of myself. I made it through the entire Couch to 5K week 1 session. This is important as the first time I tried this, I didn't finish. But! This time I was running my spandex'd toosh off, feeling like a sissy girl, and just as I was thinking "there's no way- I can't do it!", I heard the sweetest words I've ever heard [while running]:

"Only 2 more runs to go!*"
"2 more…

I came, I saw, I yogged.

Well, as I mentioned here, I have a burning desire to run a 5K. Because I hate lying to you lovely folks, I signed myself and the Bearded Wonder up for a "Dash Into the 80's" 5K! Woop woop!


I'm terrified. But I'm determined. It's 3.2 miles. 5 kilometers. It's nothing. It's an hour-ish out of my day. I. Can. Do. This.

Hubbins and I went to the gym tonight, and for me it was the first time in many moons. We went to the cardio cinema (even though I was using ear buds for the podcast) so I'd be more comfortable flailing in the dark, and we got our yog on. I did much better than I thought I would, really. We only did half the program, because I did indeed feel like I was dying, but that's 24 more minutes of walk/yogging that I wouldn't normally do. I also had my fancy new orthotics in my sneakers which was suuuuper helpful.

Now, if you're a dude or I work with you, you should probably stop reading here. Or if I know you in real life, or hav…

It's been a minute!

Yikes, almost a month and a half. Whoooops! Someone was asking me about the blog a week or so ago, and I hated what I said, but I'm going to repeat it here because I've always strove to be honest.

If there's nothing going on with me then there's nothing to post.
My horse/buggy/train/etc. has gotten away from me (again), and I haven't really been physically active in awhile, soooo instead of trying to do something about it, I've buried my face in other websites and haven't posted anything here.

But here I am! I love this blog. I love the feedback I get from people. I love the encouragement and support I get because of it. I love the accountability I have because of it.

There've been a series of conversations over the last few weeks, along with the burning desire to do a 5k (acca-scuse me?!), that have brought me groveling back to my brightly colored sanctuary. Despite this being a very public forum, I feel comfortable and safe here. Maybe it's the or…

Girl Meets Cake

Note: I wrote this on May 22nd and have just sucked at posting it. Do the time warp with me! ;-)

I've never met a piece of cake I couldn't destroy. You didn't think I acquired my shapely legs and Kardashian--esque tush from eating salads, did you?

Anywho, I finally met my undoing. 
Even worse? I *made* that cake. It was a german chocolate cake I made for a friend's surprise birthday party, and sweet baby Jesus it was *rich*. That's coming from a girl who used to be able to eat reckless amounts of sugar without blinking twice. 
I cut the Bearded Wonder and I smaller pieces (though still kinda mighty; I put some time into this cake and was determined to enjoy this indulgence!), and ~6 bites or so in, I just couldn't do it… The rich chocolate frosting compounded with the super sweet german chocolate frosting…. I waved my little fork in defeat and left 1/2 my piece untouched. 
I'm not sure that's ever happened to me before. 
So we're about 2.5 weeks into our …

Cherry-licious

It stared at me.

I stared at it.

I reached into the freezer and held it in my hands:

The remants of a pint of Wegman's brand Cherry-licious ice cream. 
I stared at it.

It stared at me.

I caved. I completely, absolutely caved. The excuses came rolling into my brain: "We're going to be gone for a week!", "1/2 eaten ice cream in the freezer is gross- no one wants to see that", "It'll be bad by the time I can eat it!".

Now, in my defense, I'm quite certain it was about 1/4 of a cup- there really wasn't much in there. Roughly 140 calories and 14 grams of sugar. It's not great, but I feel like if I were going to fall into the sugary temptation, this wasn't the worst I could do. I've passed up sugary drinks, donuts, candy in multiple bowls at work, sundaes... All of it.

So yeah, I ate a little bit of ice cream. Big deal. I'm not going to let this drag me down to where I was before again, and I'm still going to continue on …

Cupcakes and cookies and ice cream- OH MY!

7 days down, however many more to go!

The last 7 days I've been detoxing from all the sugar/caffeine/processed goodness* in my body. We did inadvertantly eat sugar yesterday at Mimi's Cafe since we hadn't eaten lunch and they put a basket of bread in front of us.

There were no survivors. 
We were celebrating our fabulous mamas, and I won't even lie, I went to town on my dinner. But we didn't eat lunch, so I think it balanced out (it wasn't on purpose; we don't skip meals normally). The french fries on the menu were staring me down though, and my heart said "YES! GET IN MY MOUTH!", but my face said "nope. not happenin'."

Know what happened because of decisions like that over the last 7 days?
I lost 6 lbs. Boom. 


There's still a long, long, looooong way to go, but overall I'm feeling pretty good. It's weird, for a girl who's spent 3/4 of her life obsessed with her weight, I don't actually care that much that I lost …

No sugar in the champagne room...

Officially we're on day 3 of our "diet" (I hate that word, for the record). Monday we both had coffee because 1) our dog got sick and left us a present that needed scrubbing out of our carpet at 2:30 in the morning, and 2) the Bearded Wonder started working nights. Poor guy needed to stay awake so he could get home safe, so we felt OK making this decision together for the day, and we didn't compromise any other part of the "diet".

We kept the caffeine simple though: coffee with sugar and cream, so it's not like we went to Starbucks or Caribou and loaded up on the sugary lattes. I haven't had any since, and I'll admit my eyes are a bit heavy this morning, but already I'm noticing I sleep better. In fact, yesterday I didn't feel tired until later in the evening.
That's a big deal for me.
I'm normally rubbing my eyes and yawning all day, but I'm also normally eating lots of sugar all day. I work in an office that loves its sugar…

Suga suga how you get so flyyyy?

Anyone else secretly love the song "Sugar Sugar" by Baby Bash? I just can't help myself. The beat. The smooth voices. It speaks to me. Plus hearing someone croon "Sugar sugar how you get so fly?" in your ear gives you a nice little ego boost. Go listen to it. I triple dog dare you. It does have rap in it. Don't judge me. It's how I roll.


Anyway….

The Bearded Wonder and I have decided to cut out sugar, caffeine, fried foods, most processed foods, and basically all the junk that's wonderful and we all love to eat. Really I said "Hey! What do you think about this craziness?!" and he (being the wonderful husband he is) said "Sure! I'll do it with you!"

You know, we'll basically be trying to eat like we probably should be eating. 
We're starting today, though already there have been evil forces against me. Our beloved pooch Zoey is ill and as such left us a pungent gift in our closet that was SO strong, it incorporated its…

Get over yourself

I don't mean to be rude, but seriously, sometimes you just need to get over yourself.

I don't mean like "Psshtt girl you're not all that, get over yourself!"

I mean like "Hey, they're probably not staring at you in your bathing suit as you walk stiff-legged to make your thighs appear smaller! Get over your self. Besties?"


Sometimes you just need to hear it: Get over yourself. Don't let yourself become the voice you fear is actually coming from others.

I had to keep telling myself this the other day as I stood in front of the mirror in my retro-inspired blue/white polka dot bathing suit at the gym. "It's OK. Your suit is cute and what do you care if someone is saying something? You're here to swim. We're all here to better ourselves. Get over yourself."

If you've read my blog for any length of time, I'm sure you're aware that I am profoundly amazing at self-deprecation. No joke, I could medal in it if it were an …

Anyone seen my saddle? Or horse? Or whatever it is I fell off of?

"Get back in the saddle!"
"Get back on the horse!"
"Get back on the wagon!"
"Get back to something else irrelevant to your lifestyle!" (is what I actually hear when people say these things…)


Let me tell you, I've only been on a horse maybe twice in my life, and weirdly enough have been in a saddle once more than that (stupid Texas Roadhouse…), but I certainly don't want to "get back on". Also, wagons...? Who made up these expressions?!

The redhead has slightly derailed off the tracks (because apparently I am a train now), and hasn't been to the gym in a regular manner for quite some time. I went twice 2 weeks ago and did zumba in the same week, and I thought it was back.

I thought The Gladiator was back. Not of the Russell Crowe variety, but of the gym champion I once tried to be. I thought it would be the start back into my 4-5 weekly visits to the gym. Did I go at all last week? Nope. Did I do anything at all remotely phy…

Fat girl in a little suit...

Have you ever seen the Chris Farley bit in "Tommy Boy" where he puts on David's Spade's coat and sways around singing "Fat guy in a little coooaaat"?

No?

OK, go here, watch the minute of it, giggle, then come back.

Done? Excellent.

Last night I was out shopping with a friend at one of my favorite plus size stores, Torrid. We were doing our usual giggling, looking at more labels, I was hugging the t-shirt I was determined to buy, and then I saw it…

Black and white stripes. Halter top. Keyhole underneath the bra part.
A bikini top.
In one of my favorite plus-size stores.

I stared at it for a second before the urge to put it on came over me. I said something like "holy crap you guys have bikini tops!" and the associate laughed and said they'd been flying off the shelves.
Now, prior to the wedding, I'd read things from The Militant Baker like "I'm Proud of my Size: The Sexy Fatkini" and I'd always been inspired. How could th…

Kreme-y Happiness

No, I didn't suddenly forget how to use my spellcheck. I'm talking about Krispy Kreme.

Hot. Fresh. Melty in your mouth. Glazed in happiness.

I'm not sure that there's much that makes me happier than Krispy Kreme donuts. OK, just to be clear, I mean in reference to food; clearly I still love snow, hot chocolate, my husband, puppies, etc... You've all had a Kristpy Kreme donut, right?

Wait, WHAT? Some of you haven't?!?! What the heck are you doing reading my blog right now?! Stop what you're doing, drive to the nearest one (I don't care if it's 8 hours away) and get 8 dozen of these fools. If they're not hot, then stick 'em in the microwave for ~9 seconds and let the melting commence.

We'll wait.
....................................................................................

You good?

We had a god-forsaken coupon that entitled us to 1 free dozen of glazed donuts if we bought another dozen of our choosing. Ummmmmmm you don't have t…