Skip to main content

Fat girl in a little suit...


Have you ever seen the Chris Farley bit in "Tommy Boy" where he puts on David's Spade's coat and sways around singing "Fat guy in a little coooaaat"?

No?

OK, go here, watch the minute of it, giggle, then come back.

Done? Excellent.

Last night I was out shopping with a friend at one of my favorite plus size stores, Torrid. We were doing our usual giggling, looking at more labels, I was hugging the t-shirt I was determined to buy, and then I saw it…

Black and white stripes.
Halter top.
Keyhole underneath the bra part.

A bikini top.
In one of my favorite plus-size stores.

I stared at it for a second before the urge to put it on came over me. I said something like "holy crap you guys have bikini tops!" and the associate laughed and said they'd been flying off the shelves.
Now, prior to the wedding, I'd read things from The Militant Baker like "I'm Proud of my Size: The Sexy Fatkini" and I'd always been inspired. How could this girl be so comfortable in a bikini? Could I ever be that comfortable in this body of mine? I've mentioned before that I've never been a "little" girl- I've always needed the "women's" or "plus-size" section even when my friends were shopping in Juniors. So I've never 1) felt comfortable with the idea of less swimsuit material, or 2) even had the option of wearing a 2-piece at my size. So on this whole body empowerment kick, I grabbed my size and a pair of swim shorts and carried them around while I perused the racks. I'll tell ya- as a girl learning daily to love her body, it was thrilling to know that I had a 2-piece to try on. Thrilling and weird.

I ran back to the fitting room, threw on the suit, and was amazed. It fit. It didn't look bad on me. I mean,  the fabric isn't my favorite, but we're going for principle here. Me, the girl who used to wear pants a size or 2 too big to "hide" myself (hint: that doesn't work), the girl who used to wish she could die so she wouldn't be made fun of anymore for being fat, the girl who used to think she'd never be "good enough" for someone until she lost weight…

That girl was in a friggin' bikini last night. 

Yes, Howard, yes you can. 
Know what I did? I walked out to the open area (gasp!) and showed my friend (even though there was creepy lady standing out there too), then did a silly (a.k.a. ridiculous) little "happy dance" BECAUSE I WAS IN A FREAKING BIKINI. Then I sent a picture to my husband, because darnit, I looked cute. I did think of the aforementioned Chris Farley bit just because it makes me laugh, and OK I may have hummed it a little. But it was all in good fun. =) 

I didn't end up getting it, because like I said, I wasn't crazy about the fabric. But that was the main reason I didn't get it. Not because I didn't like how it looked on me, or how it fit. But because of the fabric. Mind. Blown.


I'm not sure what's happening here, but it seems appropriate...
Warning: Picture below shows a confident-ish girl wearing a 2-piece. Make sure to hide small children, those easily offended by non-standard body shapes, and yo' wives.

I probably should've cleaned up my boots/jeans first… Whoops. 
Enjoy your victories, big and small. This for me was a momentous victory with all I've ever been through. =)

Well, anyone else have a breakthrough of any variety recently? No matter how small it is, if it's important to you it's important to me! :)

<3
A Redhead (now in bikinis!)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shame Eating

I found the above image on the interwebs and it always makes me laugh. All.the.time. It's kinda true though, right? IF you've ever had any kind of food addiction then you know the sweet sweet embrace of "one more" handful of kettle corn (ahem), or "one more" piece of bread, or whatever.

I was joking with my co-worker that I might as well be shame eating out of the Costco-sized bag of Kettle corn on my counter in the dark, licking the sweet and salty remnants off my fingers. That I can't be trusted alone with it. That I grab a bigger-than-small bowl and PILE it up, lamenting the few rogue pieces that make it to the floor.

Another colleague overheard us and said she used to do that with angel food cake. She would sit it on the passenger side and just drive, picking at the fluffy confection. I know a girl who could knock out an entire family size container of Sara Lee pound cake.

So friends, those are a few confessions. Using the powers of anonymity that y…

Frustrations & Fertility

The Bearded Wonder and I got married on a sunny Saturday afternoon in September 2013. Barring a few minor hiccups, the day was pretty perfect. Per the (unfortunate) societal norms, people started asking questions like "So, next comes baby, right?" or "When are you guys going to start popping out kids?". 
Between me, you, and the Internet, I was a virgin when I got married so I was in ZERO rush to start having kids. I wanted to enjoy being married for awhile, hopefully travel, and just settle in to living with this person I'd never lived with before. 
It's funny to me now, looking back on those first few years. The Bearded Wonder had some job transitions which led to some tight finances. We got by (not without help), but I was in a constant state of fear that I'd get pregnant. We were just floating with the 2 of us, but adding a baby in the mix? Yikes. Definitely not the right time. I remember calling my best friend in a panic, "I'm craving hot…

He Likes Big Butts and He Cannot Lie!

Do I have any fellow big booty girls in the audience? Or I suppose big booty brothers? Maybe? Anywho. I've had a rather prodigious posterior for my entire life. I think part of it is that I've always been a fat kid, and part of it is probably genetics. Even when I lost weight in high school, it was still pretty hefty. In fact, I recall walking with a friend of mine and hearing 2 guys behind us talking. "Look at that fat a**", his friend said "where" and the other guy said "the one on the right".

I was, of course, the girl on the right.
It's a moment that's resonated within me for a long time. That happened in probably 2003 while I was a young 16 year old, and 10 years later it's still a moment that occasionally wraps me up in it's insecure and hateful arms.

It didn't help that a year or so later I was in a parking lot with friends, feeling cute in a spaghetti string tank top and jeans, and a complete stranger drove by and yell…