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Fat girl in a little suit...


Have you ever seen the Chris Farley bit in "Tommy Boy" where he puts on David's Spade's coat and sways around singing "Fat guy in a little coooaaat"?

No?

OK, go here, watch the minute of it, giggle, then come back.

Done? Excellent.

Last night I was out shopping with a friend at one of my favorite plus size stores, Torrid. We were doing our usual giggling, looking at more labels, I was hugging the t-shirt I was determined to buy, and then I saw it…

Black and white stripes.
Halter top.
Keyhole underneath the bra part.

A bikini top.
In one of my favorite plus-size stores.

I stared at it for a second before the urge to put it on came over me. I said something like "holy crap you guys have bikini tops!" and the associate laughed and said they'd been flying off the shelves.
Now, prior to the wedding, I'd read things from The Militant Baker like "I'm Proud of my Size: The Sexy Fatkini" and I'd always been inspired. How could this girl be so comfortable in a bikini? Could I ever be that comfortable in this body of mine? I've mentioned before that I've never been a "little" girl- I've always needed the "women's" or "plus-size" section even when my friends were shopping in Juniors. So I've never 1) felt comfortable with the idea of less swimsuit material, or 2) even had the option of wearing a 2-piece at my size. So on this whole body empowerment kick, I grabbed my size and a pair of swim shorts and carried them around while I perused the racks. I'll tell ya- as a girl learning daily to love her body, it was thrilling to know that I had a 2-piece to try on. Thrilling and weird.

I ran back to the fitting room, threw on the suit, and was amazed. It fit. It didn't look bad on me. I mean,  the fabric isn't my favorite, but we're going for principle here. Me, the girl who used to wear pants a size or 2 too big to "hide" myself (hint: that doesn't work), the girl who used to wish she could die so she wouldn't be made fun of anymore for being fat, the girl who used to think she'd never be "good enough" for someone until she lost weight…

That girl was in a friggin' bikini last night. 

Yes, Howard, yes you can. 
Know what I did? I walked out to the open area (gasp!) and showed my friend (even though there was creepy lady standing out there too), then did a silly (a.k.a. ridiculous) little "happy dance" BECAUSE I WAS IN A FREAKING BIKINI. Then I sent a picture to my husband, because darnit, I looked cute. I did think of the aforementioned Chris Farley bit just because it makes me laugh, and OK I may have hummed it a little. But it was all in good fun. =) 

I didn't end up getting it, because like I said, I wasn't crazy about the fabric. But that was the main reason I didn't get it. Not because I didn't like how it looked on me, or how it fit. But because of the fabric. Mind. Blown.


I'm not sure what's happening here, but it seems appropriate...
Warning: Picture below shows a confident-ish girl wearing a 2-piece. Make sure to hide small children, those easily offended by non-standard body shapes, and yo' wives.

I probably should've cleaned up my boots/jeans first… Whoops. 
Enjoy your victories, big and small. This for me was a momentous victory with all I've ever been through. =)

Well, anyone else have a breakthrough of any variety recently? No matter how small it is, if it's important to you it's important to me! :)

<3
A Redhead (now in bikinis!)
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