Saturday, July 20, 2013

Hormonies and the Flurry of Shame

Menfolk, feel free to skip this post. It's about to be way TMI up in here. 

Also, if you work with me feel free to skip this. 

With the pending nuptials coming up in just under 2 months (!!!), I've started taking birth control. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say this is my first go-round with them. While the Bearded Wonder and I love children, we want to enjoy being married for a few years first. Do some traveling, get a dog, you know, the uze'.

So. The birth control regimen started on Monday night, and by Tuesday night I was a raging hot mess. Everyone says, "side effects may include mood changes, in/de-crease of appetite, etc.".


What they fail to mention is the seething rage that makes you want to rip the faces off of those you love. Not because they've done anything other than happen to be in your general vicinity. What they also don't mention is that you'll burst into tears at the drop of a hat, or at the site of your extremely cute desktop background which you forgot you changed yesterday.

Not that that happened to me the other day...
What they also fail to mention is how debilitating it feels to have absolutely no control over your emotional state. I wrote an e-mail to my sweet Bearded Wonder trying to again apologize and explain this is all the devilish Hormonies, and I finished it in tears. At my desk. At work. 

The last few days have been a literal roller coaster of emotions, raging from boredom/depression to seething rage to weepy tears. As a female I'm prone to the "occasional" mood swing, but this is just ridiculous. This is a pandemic of epic proportions. 

Tuesday night after church, I was so mad at everything/everyone, that I drove through the McDonald's drive-thru and ordered an Oreo McFlurry (henceforth known at the Flurry of Shame), and ate it angrily at red lights on my way home. Then I cried when it was done because it was a poor decision and I didn't want an upset stomach later. Then I cried yet again because I looked like a typical fat kid lamenting the loss of her ice cream. 

It was a bad night. 

I feel like I should be locked away, kept from the public's view and out of harm's way of others. I want to sit in my room, watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother or Big Bang Theory, and gorge myself on a gallon of ice cream smothered in Magic Shell. I want to cry while clutching to a stuffed animal that Beardy gave me, lamenting the rage I feel at physical contact. I want to hug people and not feel like it's an obligation, or like I need to get away from them quickly. 

My friend informed me that since I'm not used to hormones coursing through my body, there's a good chance this may take a few weeks to level out.

I. Can't. Wait. 
I will admit I started this post on Wednesday night, and am happy (eek!) to report that things are looking up. Yesterday was the most normal I've felt all week... It was like a ray of sunshine into a sad and crappy pile of... sadness. Today I'm feeling marginally moody again but with a deluge of fatigue. But at least the stabby rage is subsiding. 

Anywho. The Hormonies are hopefully leveling out, and the Flurry of Shame is behind me. Thank God. Punch me if I eat too much crap though; I'm an amazing emotional eater. ;-)

What do you guys do when upset? I eat. Obviously. =p

A Redhead


  1. Oh hon, I'm so sorry. I had to start taking BC a few years ago to regulate my periods (they would knock me out for days - do you remember me throwing up in the cafeteria at school?!). I remember it being a roller coaster ride when I started, too. BUT! The really good news is that it DEFINITELY gets better. I'm pretty convinced now that birth control is the best thing ever. Good luck! :)

  2. Glad you're feeling more like yourself!!