Tuesday, December 10, 2013

He Likes Big Butts and He Cannot Lie!


Do I have any fellow big booty girls in the audience? Or I suppose big booty brothers? Maybe? Anywho. I've had a rather prodigious posterior for my entire life. I think part of it is that I've always been a fat kid, and part of it is probably genetics. Even when I lost weight in high school, it was still pretty hefty. In fact, I recall walking with a friend of mine and hearing 2 guys behind us talking. "Look at that fat a**", his friend said "where" and the other guy said "the one on the right".

I was, of course, the girl on the right.

It's a moment that's resonated within me for a long time. That happened in probably 2003 while I was a young 16 year old, and 10 years later it's still a moment that occasionally wraps me up in it's insecure and hateful arms.

It didn't help that a year or so later I was in a parking lot with friends, feeling cute in a spaghetti string tank top and jeans, and a complete stranger drove by and yelled "HEY FAT A***!". Frankly, people are just being unoriginal at that point. The same insult? C'mon. Get creative at least.

I can say that now after years of learning to love myself, but at the time they were crippling remarks. So for a long time I was insecure about backside. I still have those moments at times. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. You try on any skirt or pair of jeans, and you do a quick spin to see how your toosh is looking. It's innate. We can't help it.

Several times I half-apologized to the Bearded Wonder for my bodacious badonkadonk, and you know what? He loves it. He absolutely, unabashedly, unapologetically loves every inch of me, including the oft-most hated part of me.

I'm not saying this to brag or to boast about my sweet husband (though really, I could do that for days). I'm saying this because positive reinforcement makes a BIG deal. I've heard for over a year and a half of nothing but love and positivity for my body. This has been combined with the crazy body positive moment that's been embellished by The Militant Baker, and my efforts at the gym since this past May.

For the first time last week in my entire 27 years, I caught a glimpse of my bum and actually thought "Well hey girrrrl".

Any moment for Howard Wolowitz is a perfect moment. 
You know what? I strutted a little that day. I walked tall. I took a moment to reflect on those rude jerks in high school who tried to bring me down, and I thought "Shove it, stink holes. I look good.".

To top it off? I'm still doing my squats. With every squat I do, I defy the terrible words. I show them that I'm better than their hate, and I love myself more than they could ever make me hate myself. Squat you, bros. Squat you.

So my challenge this week for you. Think of something you don't like (your thighs, hands, eyes, whatever), and make a point of admiring yourself this week. Yes, my husband has been giving me loving words for awhile now. But not all of the self-love came from him; a lot of it came from me and seeing myself differently than before. Every day, make a point to say "Hey girl. I like your calves". Or whatever it is you don't like. You have to think past any horrible crap someone has said, and love the hate out of yourself.

Love your body. It's the only one you get. Diet and exercise are great, but body love is more than that. You have to make a decision to accept yourself as you are. Need someone to love on you? I'm happy to gush over how fabulous you look. Just ask. =)

Have a wonderful week friends.

<3
A Redhead

5 comments:

  1. I love this post Redhead! And, I love you! Thank you.

    ~Lyndee

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  2. I am 36, and when I was 12, a boy called me chubby. At the time I was probably 5'4" and 117 or so pounds. I am currently 5'5" and 119 pounds. I always see myself as chubby.

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  3. I'm a healthy skinny girl but the comments and sometimes looks are equally hateful. Thanks for the positive reinforcement on loving your body, no matter what.

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    1. I've heard that! It sucks that for a lot of plus-size women they feel like they have to bash skinny women to make themselves feel better. Why can't we all just love ourselves and love each other?? I'm sorry for anytime a chubby person made you feel bad about skinny. =(

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