Skip to main content

Feels like the first time… with you.

Well hello blog world! I've had numerous blogs throughout my life, and I'm finally going to write the blog I never wanted to write:

A fitness blog.

I've read numerous fitness/weight-loss blogs, and they are [almost] all fabulous. They've got great pictures of these fit [wo]men, tasty recipes, and impressive stats of their gym time. But what about a blog before they become these lean, mean, gym-crunching machines?

I'm not necessarily saying that I'm going to become a lean, mean, gym-crunching machine, but… Wait a second. Yes. Yes I am saying that. Why not say it? I can do this! So what if I've been overweight my whole life? So what if I've heard countless snickers about my large posterior? So what if I can sit down with a bowl of sugary confections* and destroy that fool in 15 minutes flat?

The only thing standing in the way of me, is me. It's certainly not my [amazing gym rat] fiance, or my friends or even my family. I'm the only one who stops me from being the sexy beast** outside that I am on the inside. Rawr, baby. 

I've recently posted pictures all over my room that I snagged off Pinterest of these insanely fit women that have obnoxiously motivational sayings above their heads or down their toned sides. "You can't lose weight by talking about it", "Eating healthy means you look good in clothes, exercising means you look good naked", "If you suck it up now you won't have to suck it in later." They're ridiculous cliches, but you know what? They're all things I need to internalize. I'm amazing at talking about losing weight. I can find healthy recipes, have fantastic intentions, and I can tote my cute little gym bag around. But I need to actually suck it up and DO SOMETHING. I'm also getting married in 4.5 months (woooo!!!). As my late-20's fiance and I are both in possession of our respective v-cards, of course I don't want every little dimple and jiggle to show on our romantic getaway to a resort. What a way to start our honeymoon: "Ohhh baby, don't mind me while I just roll off my 3 pairs of Spanx. Heeyyyyyy." Finally, my whole life's mission has been to "suck in that gut". And you know what? I'm tired. I'm flat out tired of sucking it in. I'm tired of having weird skin lines when I peel off a pair of nude colored Spanx. I'm tired of being concerned with posing "just so" in pictures so the camera doesn't rudely add 10+ lbs. I'm just plain tired.

So. Here I am, in all my glory. Here I am posting this blog for accountability sake. Here I am trying to make a lifestyle change and not do some fad diet. If that stuff works for you, do it! For goodness sakes keep going!! But I'm not that kind of girl, and it's taken 14+ years of yo-yo diets and failed workout attempts to realize it.

That's right. I said 14+ years. I've been on more diets than I have dates. Oh, to put in perspective for those of you just meeting me: I'm 26. As in I've been attempting to diet and workout since I was 12. As in more than half my life. Caught up? Good. I get frustrated with myself when I think about the years wasted. I was even bulimic for awhile (that's a whole other story!), and while I'm glad that I finally got that under control, I hate that I've wasted so much time trying to find the "magic bean" of weight loss. You know exactly what I'm talking about: the supplement or "10-minute shred" workout. That's exactly how my bulimia started though: I watched a Lifetime movie with Calista Flockhart (darn you, overtly-real-TV-messages!) having a binge/purge situation, and my first thought at 16 years old was "Ooohh does that really work?!". It was a sickness, and one I'm glad to be over.

Here's what I've learned: weight loss is math. I hate math, so naturally this was a painful lesson. Basically though you need to burn more calories than you consume. When that happens, do you know what effect that has on your body? Weight loss!! Glory glory Hallelujah!


But even more important than that, is I didn't gain all this weight in one night. It was a gradual process brought on by a love for 7-11's frozen Coke™ slurpees and those crunchy orange Cheetos™ that leave me sucking my fingers for more. So if that was all a gradual slide into the plus-size, it's most definitely going to be a gradual slide back to the misses side.

Moving forward, my posts will hopefully not be so long. But join me on this journey of weight loss and fitness. Yell at me when I eat too much ice cream in a week, but hug me when my arms hurt from doing bench dips. Also I'll go into detail about some things I'm eating and some exercises I'm doing. 

Just to prove I'm serious, here are some really unflattering pictures of my body:

This is from my engagement night. But my arm flab makes my heart hurt. =( 
Sitting down is never a flattering pose on a girl my size. 
1-year anniversary with the Bearded Wonder.
He loves my badonka donk, I'm not so sure about it though...
Wish me luck, friends!
<3 A Redhead

*Note: "sugary confections" could mean cake, ice cream, candy… Whatever I get my hands on. It's embarrassing, really. 

**Note pt. 2: When I say "sexy beast", I'm clearly joking. Please don't think for a second that I'm sitting over here growling while I look at myself in a mirror. 

Comments

  1. I love this! You can do it! BTW- you are hilarious and I will read this every time you post for a smile : ) Once you see the scale going down- you won't want to stop!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Whoohoo!!!! You are a sexy beast and will just get sexier!!! Soon you'll be able to bench press Adrian!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shame Eating

I found the above image on the interwebs and it always makes me laugh. All.the.time. It's kinda true though, right? IF you've ever had any kind of food addiction then you know the sweet sweet embrace of "one more" handful of kettle corn (ahem), or "one more" piece of bread, or whatever.

I was joking with my co-worker that I might as well be shame eating out of the Costco-sized bag of Kettle corn on my counter in the dark, licking the sweet and salty remnants off my fingers. That I can't be trusted alone with it. That I grab a bigger-than-small bowl and PILE it up, lamenting the few rogue pieces that make it to the floor.

Another colleague overheard us and said she used to do that with angel food cake. She would sit it on the passenger side and just drive, picking at the fluffy confection. I know a girl who could knock out an entire family size container of Sara Lee pound cake.

So friends, those are a few confessions. Using the powers of anonymity that y…

Frustrations & Fertility

The Bearded Wonder and I got married on a sunny Saturday afternoon in September 2013. Barring a few minor hiccups, the day was pretty perfect. Per the (unfortunate) societal norms, people started asking questions like "So, next comes baby, right?" or "When are you guys going to start popping out kids?". 
Between me, you, and the Internet, I was a virgin when I got married so I was in ZERO rush to start having kids. I wanted to enjoy being married for awhile, hopefully travel, and just settle in to living with this person I'd never lived with before. 
It's funny to me now, looking back on those first few years. The Bearded Wonder had some job transitions which led to some tight finances. We got by (not without help), but I was in a constant state of fear that I'd get pregnant. We were just floating with the 2 of us, but adding a baby in the mix? Yikes. Definitely not the right time. I remember calling my best friend in a panic, "I'm craving hot…

Body Image & All That Jazz

This is a post I've been mulling over for a couple of days and thinking of how to approach. It's been prompted because people keep picking up on little nuggets in the blog and asking me questions, so I thought I might as well address everything here in an honest and factual manner. It's about to get real up in here, so grab a snuggie and some ice cream water and let's see what happens.

This may be a trigger post, so feel free to skip the red text below 
to the happier, more positive green text. =) 
I suppose the best place to start is with my eating disorder.

Well, "under control" eating disorder is more appropriate.
Anyone who's ever had an eating disorder of any variety knows that it never really goes away. You learn to overcome it 98% of the time, but with the occasional yearn for your former vice or the even more rare slip back into bad habits.

I became bulimic when I was about 16, and we had a fast and heavy kind of relationship. I remember watching a L…