Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Feels like the first time… with you.

Well hello blog world! I've had numerous blogs throughout my life, and I'm finally going to write the blog I never wanted to write:

A fitness blog.

I've read numerous fitness/weight-loss blogs, and they are [almost] all fabulous. They've got great pictures of these fit [wo]men, tasty recipes, and impressive stats of their gym time. But what about a blog before they become these lean, mean, gym-crunching machines?

I'm not necessarily saying that I'm going to become a lean, mean, gym-crunching machine, but… Wait a second. Yes. Yes I am saying that. Why not say it? I can do this! So what if I've been overweight my whole life? So what if I've heard countless snickers about my large posterior? So what if I can sit down with a bowl of sugary confections* and destroy that fool in 15 minutes flat?

The only thing standing in the way of me, is me. It's certainly not my [amazing gym rat] fiance, or my friends or even my family. I'm the only one who stops me from being the sexy beast** outside that I am on the inside. Rawr, baby. 

I've recently posted pictures all over my room that I snagged off Pinterest of these insanely fit women that have obnoxiously motivational sayings above their heads or down their toned sides. "You can't lose weight by talking about it", "Eating healthy means you look good in clothes, exercising means you look good naked", "If you suck it up now you won't have to suck it in later." They're ridiculous cliches, but you know what? They're all things I need to internalize. I'm amazing at talking about losing weight. I can find healthy recipes, have fantastic intentions, and I can tote my cute little gym bag around. But I need to actually suck it up and DO SOMETHING. I'm also getting married in 4.5 months (woooo!!!). As my late-20's fiance and I are both in possession of our respective v-cards, of course I don't want every little dimple and jiggle to show on our romantic getaway to a resort. What a way to start our honeymoon: "Ohhh baby, don't mind me while I just roll off my 3 pairs of Spanx. Heeyyyyyy." Finally, my whole life's mission has been to "suck in that gut". And you know what? I'm tired. I'm flat out tired of sucking it in. I'm tired of having weird skin lines when I peel off a pair of nude colored Spanx. I'm tired of being concerned with posing "just so" in pictures so the camera doesn't rudely add 10+ lbs. I'm just plain tired.

So. Here I am, in all my glory. Here I am posting this blog for accountability sake. Here I am trying to make a lifestyle change and not do some fad diet. If that stuff works for you, do it! For goodness sakes keep going!! But I'm not that kind of girl, and it's taken 14+ years of yo-yo diets and failed workout attempts to realize it.

That's right. I said 14+ years. I've been on more diets than I have dates. Oh, to put in perspective for those of you just meeting me: I'm 26. As in I've been attempting to diet and workout since I was 12. As in more than half my life. Caught up? Good. I get frustrated with myself when I think about the years wasted. I was even bulimic for awhile (that's a whole other story!), and while I'm glad that I finally got that under control, I hate that I've wasted so much time trying to find the "magic bean" of weight loss. You know exactly what I'm talking about: the supplement or "10-minute shred" workout. That's exactly how my bulimia started though: I watched a Lifetime movie with Calista Flockhart (darn you, overtly-real-TV-messages!) having a binge/purge situation, and my first thought at 16 years old was "Ooohh does that really work?!". It was a sickness, and one I'm glad to be over.

Here's what I've learned: weight loss is math. I hate math, so naturally this was a painful lesson. Basically though you need to burn more calories than you consume. When that happens, do you know what effect that has on your body? Weight loss!! Glory glory Hallelujah!


But even more important than that, is I didn't gain all this weight in one night. It was a gradual process brought on by a love for 7-11's frozen Coke™ slurpees and those crunchy orange Cheetos™ that leave me sucking my fingers for more. So if that was all a gradual slide into the plus-size, it's most definitely going to be a gradual slide back to the misses side.

Moving forward, my posts will hopefully not be so long. But join me on this journey of weight loss and fitness. Yell at me when I eat too much ice cream in a week, but hug me when my arms hurt from doing bench dips. Also I'll go into detail about some things I'm eating and some exercises I'm doing. 

Just to prove I'm serious, here are some really unflattering pictures of my body:

This is from my engagement night. But my arm flab makes my heart hurt. =( 
Sitting down is never a flattering pose on a girl my size. 
1-year anniversary with the Bearded Wonder.
He loves my badonka donk, I'm not so sure about it though...
Wish me luck, friends!
<3 A Redhead

*Note: "sugary confections" could mean cake, ice cream, candy… Whatever I get my hands on. It's embarrassing, really. 

**Note pt. 2: When I say "sexy beast", I'm clearly joking. Please don't think for a second that I'm sitting over here growling while I look at myself in a mirror. 

2 comments:

  1. I love this! You can do it! BTW- you are hilarious and I will read this every time you post for a smile : ) Once you see the scale going down- you won't want to stop!!!

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  2. Whoohoo!!!! You are a sexy beast and will just get sexier!!! Soon you'll be able to bench press Adrian!

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