Skip to main content

25 Easy Steps to... Priming a Vanity.

There are 2 things I've been pretty consistent about the last few years: trying to lose weight/get fit, and decorating/redecorating my house. We redid our master bathroom, but haven't touched the vanity. We're currently redecorating the guest bathroom and I have decided that DARNIT. I'M REDOING THE VANITY. 

So off to Google I went. I didn't want to sand it. I wanted to prime and paint this puppy, then gloat forever. Several blogs recommended the primer below, swearing by it and promising beautiful results via their perfectly refinished furniture.


So I bought it. The ladies who's blogs I read all swore that I had to have a foam roller to use it. HAD TO. As in it would fail miserably if I used anything else. I found one at Michael's (exactly $4 more than their promised $.50, not that I'm mad... ahem.) and figured I was ready to conquer the world.

So behold! 25 easy steps to priming your bathroom vanity.

1. Start with way too much confidence since you've spent a ton of time on Pinterest and on the Google machine.
2. Load your foam roller with sticky primer and prepare to roll your way to greatness.
3. Start rolling only to drop the foam roller off the handle.
4. Curse as you get primer all over the floor & your hands.
5. Take a quick break to wash the primer off.
6. Realize quickly that water has no effect in washing off this primer.
7. Start squirting Dawn all over your hands and running them under scalding hot water. Spend too much time doing this.
8. 7 minutes of scrubbing later, go back upstairs. Realize you should be using a paint tray.
9. Traipse down 2 flights of stairs to garage and find paint tray.
10. Resume painting.
11. Repeats steps 3 & 4.
12. Realize that stupid foam roller has actually broken.
13. Continue to try to paint vanity even though foam roller literally falls off every 6 seconds.
14. Curse intermittently, as appropriate.
15. Drop foam roller onto foot.
16. Curse more.
17. Say "screw it" and switch to your favorite angled brush, just because it's close by.
18. Paint the rest of your vanity like a champ.
19. Realize you missed the bottom of the vanity.
20. Curse some more.
21. Stand back in the glow of your streaky but primed vanity.
22. Go to clean off favorite angled brush.
23. Realize quickly that Dawn be darned, your favorite angled brush is dead and will never be freed from its primer hell.
24. Drink a hard cider. You're a little older, a little wiser, and a lot sadder about your favorite paint brush.
25. Realize you have to actually paint the vanity later with paint. Get sad again.

Spoiler alert, the vanity turned out like this. Clear the above is a tried and true method.


xo
A Redhead

Comments

  1. Somewhat funny and excellently expressed. The writer's honesty and diligence is commendable. The presentation doesn't falter either. All in all, its a great job and more people should give it a read.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shame Eating

I found the above image on the interwebs and it always makes me laugh. All.the.time. It's kinda true though, right? IF you've ever had any kind of food addiction then you know the sweet sweet embrace of "one more" handful of kettle corn (ahem), or "one more" piece of bread, or whatever . I was joking with my co-worker that I might as well be shame eating out of the Costco-sized bag of Kettle corn on my counter in the dark, licking the sweet and salty remnants off my fingers. That I can't be trusted alone with it. That I grab a bigger-than-small bowl and PILE it up, lamenting the few rogue pieces that make it to the floor. Another colleague overheard us and said she used to do that with angel food cake. She would sit it on the passenger side and just drive, picking at the fluffy confection. I know a girl who could knock out an entire family size container of Sara Lee pound cake. So friends, those are a few confessions. Using the powers of anonym

Not really proud...

(Redhead's Note: Please forgive anything that's more lame than normal, or anything that sounds weird; I'm on a constant regimen of cough syrup...) I started getting a chest tickle on the 8th, which quickly escalated to a hacking cough, and now 6 days later has my left nostril clogged. I'm sick. Lame sauce, I know. When I'm sick I'm kind of a pathetic being: I get whiny, I'm tired all the time, I'm fairly selfish ("Your car died?? But... But...  I'm sick ....") * - it's not a pretty sight. What else tends to happen is I will eat a lot. I'm not one of those people that gets sick and doesn't eat for 3 days. Oh if only! Nope, I'm that girl that gets sick and will find every last semblance of comfort food, and vacuum it up into my sick mouth hole. Handful of chocolate chips? Don't mind if I do. A small-ish spoon of Nutella? Yes please? 4 lbs of bread? Why don't mind if I do! Thankfully the only real example f

He Likes Big Butts and He Cannot Lie!

Do I have any fellow big booty girls in the audience? Or I suppose big booty brothers? Maybe? Anywho. I've had a rather prodigious posterior for my entire life. I think part of it is that I've always been a fat kid, and part of it is probably genetics. Even when I lost weight in high school, it was still pretty hefty. In fact, I recall walking with a friend of mine and hearing 2 guys behind us talking. "Look at that fat a**", his friend said "where" and the other guy said "the one on the right". I was, of course, the girl on the right. It's a moment that's resonated within me for a long time. That happened in probably 2003 while I was a young 16 year old, and 10 years later it's still a moment that occasionally wraps me up in it's insecure and hateful arms. It didn't help that a year or so later I was in a parking lot with friends, feeling cute in a spaghetti string tank top and jeans, and a complete stranger  drove by